Violated in the rear…

Poor little Subaru...
Poor little Subaru…

Last weekend our car was vandalized. At 6:00pm on January 26th, some friends and I walked into the Jolly Roger Taproom in Ballard. Within 40 minutes the Subaru’s rear window was smashed in. The only thing taken: my gym bag. Items inside the bag: decrepit sneakers, sweaty clothes, 1 pad lock, headphones. Bastard deserves the reeking odor inside for violating my Outback in the rear.

I don’t care who did it or why. I only hope they get caught. Heather and I have the resources to take care of the damage. The cost of the rear window was $1000. Our insurance paid half. Many families cant afford an emergency repair like that. For us it was an expensive inconvenience.

Phoenix Jones, where were you when I needed you?!
Phoenix Jones, where were you when I needed you?!

Just for the record, we are definitely not rich. Just frugal and lucky.

Everybody deals with being violated differently.  I was calm and collected. My wife wanted to cut a sukka. I did entertain the thought of contacting local super hero Phoenix Jones. It might help to get a little vigilante justice out of my system. Then I thought better of it. I’m not as tough as John McClane or crazy rich like Bruce Wayne.

Don't mess with these vicious vigilantes!
Don’t mess with these vicious vigilantes!

Besides, late nights in the cold and rain may be great for Batman. I prefer a warm bed and a sexy wife. So if it’s a toss us between getting my Charles Bronson on or curling up with the wifey, the wife wins every time. Which means that I did my civic duty: I told the restaurant manager about the incident, filed a police report, called our insurance, and then scheduled a time for the window to be fixed. Net loss: $500.

I am now even more wary about where I park my car. Not that hyper vigilance is 100% asshole proof. But it helps. Don’t park your car at the beginning or end of a row. Make sure it’s parked in a well lit, visible area. Keep valuables out of sight. Invest in a good car alarm.

These are things I knew already but just didn’t think about until somebody smashed in my car window to steal a sweaty gym bag. I’m just happy they didn’t take the ipod in the front seat…