Day 3: What’s on your mind?

This is part of the UU Blogging Workshops’s Zero to Hero Series

Today’s assignment: write the post that was on your mind when you decided to start a blog.

Whoops. I think I may have jumped the gun with my last post. lol I divulged the reason What’s My Age Again started and the story behind it. So, instead of writing about what WAS on my mind, I’ll write about what IS on my mind.

I just spent some awesome time with a good friend. She just moved into a new place and was having a psedo apartment warming get together. I love going to these, because it means I’ll re-introduce myself to some brief acquaintances I’ve met before and meet new people totally outside of my own circles.

I really enjoy meeting new people, especially when we have just enough in common to make life interesting but not too much that it seems like we need to compete over it. Plus, it allows me to slowly get to know other people in the community. However, I have a secret fear: I get extremely anxious when I throw a party and invite a number of friends from different circles.

Logically, I know that everybody will get along. I’m friends with some pretty awesome people. The rules of awesome dictate that awesome gravitates towards itself, so really all we have is (awesome*awesome)+x where x=bacon. But there is that nagging doubt that my different friends will not get along with each other, and I end up with people not enjoying themselves.

This has never happened, as far as I know.

I’m afraid of being judged by my friends, which is ridiculous. But heck, there it is. I’m afraid that people who I love, adore and respect will look at another friend of mind and wonder “Wow, this person sucks! Why is Justin friends with them? Maybe Justin sucks too.” And I end up losing people that I’ve let into the sanctum sanctorum. My friend Chris thinks I live completely separate lives that rarely overlap. In some ways, he is correct. A lot of it is due to this insecurity. That the people I find fun and interesting will not find each other fun and interesting.

I need to just stop worrying about this kind of crap. The reality is that some people just don’t get along and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I’m friends with mass murderers and cult leaders (that I know of). We’re all adults here and I should just stop worrying about what other people think. If I like somebody, than it’s my choice… and any true friend would respect it.

This summer, I’m going to try and have more people over from different circles. It will help me get rid of some of my “friend” anxiety and allow some really cool people to meet other really cool people. Win win all around.