Today’s assignment: try out at least three other themes — even if you’re happy with the one you have. Include at least one you would never think of using.
I’m actually going to say “no” to this prompt. I’m happy with my look and feel. While I may change it sometime at a later date, for now things are staying the same.
Back when I created WMAA, I experimented with five or six themes. It was really hard finding the right look. I wanted something minimalistic, easy to use and customizable. There are a lot of really good looking themes out there. Unfortunately, many of them wouldn’t let me change the header image or wanted me to pay to play. I have no problem paying for a good theme, especially if I were making money off the blog. But since I was new and no profit was involved, I decided to use the Twenty Ten theme. It does everything I need it to do without being too difficult to manage and it’s free!
I can see the attraction to other sites like Blogger over WordPress. In order to make WordPress really work, you need some knowledge of HTML and CSS. It’s a powerful content managed system (CMS) but there is a learning curve. If you’re not a techie, it can seem overwhelming. You don’t really need to know much to get a Blogger site up and running; you sacrifice customization for ease of use.
Which is great! There are platforms out there for everybody, regardless of tech skill. Blogging is about writing and sharing, not who is better at winning the interwebs! Sure, everybody wants their blog to look cool, sharp, and snazzy. But writing is what makes the blog shine.
Today’s assignment: write the post that was on your mind when you decided to start a blog.
Whoops. I think I may have jumped the gun with my last post. lol I divulged the reason What’s My Age Again started and the story behind it. So, instead of writing about what WAS on my mind, I’ll write about what IS on my mind.
I just spent some awesome time with a good friend. She just moved into a new place and was having a psedo apartment warming get together. I love going to these, because it means I’ll re-introduce myself to some brief acquaintances I’ve met before and meet new people totally outside of my own circles.
I really enjoy meeting new people, especially when we have just enough in common to make life interesting but not too much that it seems like we need to compete over it. Plus, it allows me to slowly get to know other people in the community. However, I have a secret fear: I get extremely anxious when I throw a party and invite a number of friends from different circles.
Logically, I know that everybody will get along. I’m friends with some pretty awesome people. The rules of awesome dictate that awesome gravitates towards itself, so really all we have is (awesome*awesome)+x where x=bacon. But there is that nagging doubt that my different friends will not get along with each other, and I end up with people not enjoying themselves.
This has never happened, as far as I know.
I’m afraid of being judged by my friends, which is ridiculous. But heck, there it is. I’m afraid that people who I love, adore and respect will look at another friend of mind and wonder “Wow, this person sucks! Why is Justin friends with them? Maybe Justin sucks too.” And I end up losing people that I’ve let into the sanctum sanctorum. My friend Chris thinks I live completely separate lives that rarely overlap. In some ways, he is correct. A lot of it is due to this insecurity. That the people I find fun and interesting will not find each other fun and interesting.
I need to just stop worrying about this kind of crap. The reality is that some people just don’t get along and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I’m friends with mass murderers and cult leaders (that I know of). We’re all adults here and I should just stop worrying about what other people think. If I like somebody, than it’s my choice… and any true friend would respect it.
This summer, I’m going to try and have more people over from different circles. It will help me get rid of some of my “friend” anxiety and allow some really cool people to meet other really cool people. Win win all around.
I can tell it’s around the anniversary of Roe v Wade by the amount of pro-whatever debates I hear on the radio. Which is a good thing. We need to continue to struggle with issues of life and death in the U.S. I just wish it were a bit more intelligent. Usually it’s one person pulling the Jesus card and the other person pulling the “I do what I want” card. It’s another example of the polarization of our politics and how unwilling we are to just listen to another point of view. Then there are people like myself who are both pro-life and pro-choice.
It’s all about the dignity of life… right?
I’m pro-life because I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every human person and I believe as a society we should respect the miracle and preciousness of ALL life. Which is why I have a problem with 99% of the pro-life camp. They’re really not about life; they’re about birth. My impression is that the pro-life camp just wants babies to be born but could care less about how they end up. Once the kid pops out, pro-lifers wash their hands of the issue and call it another day at the office. There is little mention about the quality of life for the child. What if it’s born into an abusive household? Or horribly handicapped and deformed because of drugs and/or alcoholism? What about issues of poverty, nutrition and education?
Yeah… about that…
These are all LIFE issues. If people want to call themselves pro-life, then it’s all or nothing. You’re going to have to care about and share in the responsibility for every man, woman and child. If you’re pro-life, you better be working to address issues like economic disparity, education, workplace inequality, racism, food deserts and access to medical care that make life hard for the 50 million Americans in poverty. If you’re one of those assholes who scream about babies being slaughtered but tell your representative to cut welfare, you are doing it wrong.
One, of many, reasons…
I’m pro-choice because I believe if we’re going to live in a free, democratic country than we have the responsibility to provide access to safe and quality health care to ALL our citizens. It’s an issue of justice which includes women who need to have an abortion. Because let’s be honest, nobody WANTS to have an abortion. It’s not something a woman looks forward to with her morning coffee. It’s a damned hard decision that will have repercussions and ramifications for the rest of a person’s life. This is why it’s up to the individual woman, and not the state, to choose. It’s the kind of life decision where judgment and necessity exist ONLY within the person making it.
How’re you enjoying that iPod I helped make?
“But if you’re pro-life, how can you support murdering babies?” You know what, I don’t support murdering babies. Just like I don’t support children dying of starvation; yet I still have a full three-square meals a day. You can’t make abortion illegal because it kills babies and not outlaw obesity at the same time. We are ALL complicit in abortion, just like we are with child slaves mining the minerals to go in our electronics and the impoverished hands that make our clothing. We’re ALL part of the problem.
I am NOT pro-abortion. I don’t think anybody is. However, I believe its legality is necessary for freedom, health and quality of life. But just because it’s necessary doesn’t mean I can’t work to make it an uncommon practice. Abortion will always be a part of human society and it’s not a single action removed from all the other issues of our time. To address it, I have to continue to work hard to build a better society that furthers the arc of history as it bends towards justice. Abortion isn’t about pro-life/choice. It’s about pro-justice.
2014 really couldn’t have come sooner. While 2013 had a few high points (new job for wifey, family wedding, beer brewing) for the most part it was a difficult year (home invasions, car vandalism, cancer). My wife dropped a great saying on New Year’s Eve: “2013, on your way out don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you.” Now it’s nothing but up and I’m looking to do some amazing things in 2014. Taking a cue from fellow peaceful warrior Chris, I’ve broken my resolutions down into some easy categories:
Cuidado
Creativity
I’m carving out time every week to do some serious writing. I can’t do it at home; I’m too comfortable and distracted. My office The spare bedroom is almost always occupied. The dog needs petting and there’re 4 seasons of Lost Girl to watch on Netflix. In order to remove excuses NOT to write, every Thursday after work I’m going to walk down to Wayward Coffee House and write. Easy, accessible, creatively inspiring… most importantly, doable!
Gotta get back…
Health & Fitness
I’m currently looking to join a martial arts studio. I’ve been away from Kempo for a couple years and I really miss it. So, do I want to return to Kempo or do I want to mix things up? There are a lot of Aikido and Kung Fu schools around; I just need to try them out until I find one that feels like a good fit. USSD Green Valley Dojo can never be replaced; but until they bring a school up to Seattle I need to get training again. It improves my health, reduces my stress, and keeps my reflexes sharp. I trained hard to earn my black belt; I can’t let all that time, energy and money go to waste.
Grad school bound!
Education
The biggest item on my plate is going to be grad school. Seattle University just started a Masters of Divinity program with an emphasis on chaplaincy. My goal is to start this fall. In December 2012 I listened to an episode of On Bring with Krista Tippett where she interviewed Unitarian Universalist chaplain Kate Braestrup. That interview inspired me to discern whether chaplaincy was my call back to Vocation. Even though I left seminary years ago, there has always been a drive/desire to serve and minister in some capacity. My fingers are crossed that this will be my next big spiritual step in the right direction.
Pointing toward the future…
None of these resolutions are impossible. If I fail any of them, it’s because I didn’t work hard enough. I feel I made a lot of excuses in 2013. Looking back, I realize I gave into laziness. I kept on saying “oh, I’ll brew beer next week” or “I’ll write that blog tomorrow.” Tomorrow easily became weeks and months. I can’t let that happen this year; I’m way too old and time is too short for that kind of nonsense. So it’s Thursday, I’m sitting in Wayward and I’m getting shizzle done.
For the past seven years of our marriage, Heather and I have given alternative gifts for Christmas. Usually we make donations to non-profit organizations in the name of friends and family. This year, we’re adding home crafted items to the mix. Heather is making tasty treats, we have quite a few bottles of homemade raspberry wine, and I have some home roasted coffee and homebrew that will be given out.
Ok, I may have purchased a few presents… but they’re VERY functional.
It’s not that we’re anti-capitalist or don’t believe in the spirit of Christmas. Gift giving is an important human ritual that solidifies relationships and strengthens bonds. We also haven’t gone native and decided that a hipster Christmas is better. I just believe modern American gift giving is redundant in our instant gratification society. My friends pretty much have everything they really NEED, and within my modest budget, they already have everything they really WANT. I also don’t want to add to their “stuff.” (Which I am decidedly against)
That’s why donating money to deserving organizations was a no brainer. We take the money we would otherwise have spent on stupid stuff and allow that money to make the world a better place. It’s like paying Christmas forward. Our intent is to honor our loved ones with a gesture of charity. This year, we’ve chosen three organizations which we believe are making positive contributions to our home in Seattle, our home in Las Vegas, and to the overall world.
At least it’s local?
The crafted items for this Christmas happen to be byproducts of where we live. Seattle inspires people to make local, and the more homemade the better. While we are far from knitting beanies sheared from our backyard herd of sheep, it’s pretty awesome to give a bottle of wine made from raspberries grown in our garden, fermented in our home, and bottled in our kitchen. (Hopefully the wine is good–it won’t be ready to open until August 2014!) I’ve also been making some pretty decent homebrew and I haven’t met a coffee drinker who doesn’t like fresh roasted coffee. The best part is, we made these things by hand: we’re not only giving a product, but our time and passion. Now THAT’S love.
It really is the gift that keeps giving…
My belief in gift giving works both ways, too. There are only a few things I really want for Christmas. First, I want people to donate. It doesn’t have to be in my or Heather’s name. Just do it. Find a great organization you believe in and drop them a Benjamin or volunteer some time. I will enjoy that a lot more than any DVD or collector’s edition velvet Elvis. If you MUST get me a thing, then get me something I can eat or drink. Small batch craft spirits are a great choice, but so are rare beers, coffee, and chocolate. Heck, make me a tray of smoked chocolate coffee cardamom brownies.
Best gift ever.
Really, make me some of those brownies. Pretty please. With sprinkles.
In any case, just rethink your gift giving. Consider what you REALLY want/need. The world is already filled with too much stupid crap and there are too many people who need things like food, shelter, clothing and most importantly, love. Which is what this season is supposed to be about, right?
I have two families. The one I was born into and the one I married into. I know plenty of people who don’t get along with their in-laws. I’m one of the lucky few who not only get along with them, but love them deeply. They’re genuinely kind, overwhelmingly generous and welcomed me into the Ferguson/Marty clans with open arms. When Heather and I married, I truly gained another Mother and Father.
Having two fathers is a blessing. Both are men of deep faith, conviction and kindness. Neither are perfect, but they don’t have to be. Whatever flaws they have, they overcome them with courage and forgiveness. Which is why my heart broke when, just after Thanksgiving, I learned that my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Doctors give him 6 months to 2 years to live.
Who else can get away with this? Not me!
Mr. Ferguson Andy has pretty much done everything right. He has a healthy prayer life, exercises regularly, doesn’t smoke and drinks only sparingly. He just recently retired with my mother-in-law after a lifetime of service to our national parks. He lives in his dream house in his dream community. He lived life in accordance to the laws of God and man. If anything can be called premature, horrible and utterly unfair, it’s this diagnosis.
His response has been shockingly simple: listen to the doctors, follow the treatments, continue living life with integrity and purpose, and most importantly “God’s will be done.” It almost sounds absurdly zen, especially for a man who would be justified in being confused, angry and in crying out: “As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made my life bitter…” (Job 27:2) Yet this is who Andy is; “God’s will be done.”
Generosity abounds!
As the son-in-law, my role in all of this is to be the supporter; the solid foundation for Heather. She’s the one losing her biological father. I’ve only been able to call Andy “father” for 7 years. Which has been much too short; but I’ll continue to take what I can get. So I smile and love as much as I possibly can for both of my families.
The truth is, I’m hurting inside. I’m barely holding my grief in check. Like a little boy, I want to be selfish and cry and tell life to get the hell away; to tell death to stay away from both my fathers. To cry out and say “THIS IS UNFAIR! I WANT MORE TIME!”
But I’m not a little boy. I’ve learned a few things from the men in my life. The strength I have right now comes from what my fathers have taught/shown me:
Listening to sage advise or talking about girls. Can’t remember which…
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
I also know a little secret. I’ve experienced a certain amount of serendipity in my life and Andy has a track record of beating the odds overcoming obstacles. He was in a serious motorcycle accident years ago, was told he may never walk (much less run) again; he ran anyways. He has already beaten cancer twice while finding time to work on his house, never mind the chemo treatments. He is a man of no excuses. If ever a man can defy the odds through strength of character or will of God, it is my father-in-law.
I love you dad.
Which is why I still believe in miracles. Just being part of this family; my being married to Heather; my privilege in having more than I deserve… they are all small miracles, and they exist. Therefore, there’s hope. Always hope…
Rev Justin Almeida, MDiv 